A bright flash of lightening shone through the thin window curtains and lit up the dark room. Maia lie curled up in her bed; the covers tossed about from restlessness. Raindrops were hitting heavily upon her window and a boom of thunder rattled a glass of water sitting on the nightstand next to her bed. A storm to match the tumultuous emotions wreaking havoc on Maia’s spirit — the tears streaming down her face were as plentiful as the rain puddling up on her front lawn.
In her head, Maia spent many hours sifting through the timeline of events leading to the horrendous reality she faces today. Somewhere in her life she took a wrong turn that led her down a dead end road to hell. Although she had put a lot of effort into trying to make something of her life, she felt like a complete failure. Her greatest aspirations had eluded her and all the goals she did manage to attain ended up as merely plaques on the wall. Just a few years ago, things seemed to be on track professionally and there was even love in her world. Today, though, desolation was her bedfellow. Nothing about her life was recognizable at this point and her gut instincts were screaming and shouting something she could not quite comprehend. Her rational mind and spiritual essence were at odds and the resulting anxiety threatened her peace of mind.
Tired of being plagued by mental and emotional anguish, she could not bear the thought of waking up to another day of this miserable life. There was not a day that passed that did not bring about strange experiences that would cause her to question her sanity. Though she yearned incessantly for freedom from the bondage of her mental anguish, she could not bring herself to do anything tragically permanent to end it. Nevertheless, her soul had all but died from neglect. No one saw her; she had somehow become a ghost amongst the living. The people who share her DNA, whose blood has a similar composition, do not hear the resignation in her voice or see the horrible sadness in her eyes. Perhaps they were consumed with their own problems and could not find the energy to care about the cancerous darkness eating away at her spirit.
Her grey-eyed fur baby stares at her with concern and sits at her bedroom door as if he is guarding her from the despair that somehow continues to creep into bed with her each night. Grateful for the bit of protective love her canine companion so eagerly offers daily, she knows that only an act of God could bring the comfort she needs but there’s no more hope, no more faith. There is just the stench of desperation resulting from the slow, agonizing death of her spirit. A stench that has rendered her toxic, abominable.
On this stormy, humid evening, in the midst of tussling with her clingy bed sheets and flipping over her pillow to rest her mahogany face on the side without a puddle of tears, she silently called out to God. If He loved her, He would heed her cry and grant her a peaceful homecoming tonight as she slept to no tomorrow. With all she had left, she pleaded for a permanent reprieve. For hours, she shifted restlessly in bed. The pain in her heart was too deep to be contained mentally and she could not find comfort. Every aspect of her being ached in the most excruciating way.
As she continued to toss and turn, trying to make sense of what was happening in her life, her mental battle began to fatigue her physical body and her eyes became heavy. She was exhausted in every way. As she finally drifted off to sleep, she mustered up enough faith to believe God to answer her prayer. Tonight, she would rest in peace.
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It was warm, but the breeze from the ocean brought a delightful chill on this lovely Spring evening. The two of them sat cozily on a large pink towel on the grayed sand and stared out at the glistening ocean. The splashing of the oscillating waves created the most pleasant ambience. Every single star in existence sparkled brightly over their heads and there was not a cloud to be found in the indigo sky. Completely enthralled by the beauty of God’s creation, they sat silently as they were serenaded by the ocean’s melodic tune. Holding hands, they turned and glanced at each other briefly. No words were necessary; their eyes held the most beautiful conversation. The way he looked at her made her feel like she was the only woman in the universe. Seconds felt like eternity as they became entangled in their spiritual connection. The energy between them could power the whole Pacific coast but the attraction was not lustful; their fiery connection was fueled by unconditional love.
Simply enjoying each other’s company with a beautiful celestial backdrop, the couple sat with their bare feet intertwined on the sand. After a while, he arose and helped Maia up by gently taking her hand in his and placing his other hand on her back. Once she was standing firmly on two feet, he brought her close to him for an embrace. Maia felt safe with his arms around her body. Both her heart and physical body felt secure and she was comforted. With her head rested on his muscular chest, she inhaled deeply and took in the scent of his enchanting cologne; subsequently releasing a long, soft exhale. They stood there, melting into each other, for a while as the waves rolled gently onto their feet. Maia pulled her head from his chest to look at his chocolate face. He was extremely attractive in her view; from the way his hair was cut to the shape of his full lips, it all seemed customized to her taste. His eyes opened slowly after he felt the weight of her head lift from his chest and he saw her gazing up at him with her sultry coffee-colored, almond shaped eyes. Something in his eyes spoke to her in an unknown language, but she translated clearly and reached for a chocolate covered kiss from his lips. He bent down to meet her and alchemy ensued at the joining of their lips. They lost seconds of time as they visited another dimension, lost in love. Upon returning to this realm, Maia bent down to gather the beach towel from the ground and was suddenly swept off her feet into his arms. He carried her across the sand towards their beach-front condo just a few feet from where they were sitting.
Settling into their exquisitely decorated living room, he walked up behind Maia and draped his muscular arms around her before planting the most endearing kiss on the back of her mahogany colored neck. He then gently grabbed her hand and guided her around the glass coffee table to have seat on a glowing white couch. When he saw that she was nice and comfortable, he walked into the kitchen and poured her a tall glass of pink lemonade.
As he finished pouring the light pink liquid into a flowered drinking glass, Maia playfully patted the spot next to herself on the couch as to summon his presence. He walked over and leaned down for a long kiss on her red painted lips before handing her the glass of lemonade. She removed a fluffy white pillow to make room for him and then he sat under her with his arm around her shoulders. For a moment, they glanced out through one of the many large, uncurtained windows to enjoy another view of the shimmering moonlit ocean. Maia took a few sips of lemonade, then grabbed her brawny beau’s feet for a massage. He closed his eyes as she tenderly rubbed his feet and she leaned in to plant a tender red kiss on his lightly bearded cheek. He opened his eyes and stared into hers and, again, the non-verbal conversation ensued. Their telepathic connection was otherworldly; they were always in tune with each other’s emotions without speaking a word.
There was nothing but love there between them; no words to get in the way. No lust to transmute their powerful energy into an untamable wildfire. She was at peace.
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Startled by her buzzing, vibrating cell phone, Maia nearly ejected herself from bed the way she popped up in search of the source of the raucous, which had inconveniently fallen behind the nightstand. Without all her faculties yet in sync, she clumsily fell out of bed as she scrambled to reach for the loud rectangular object and finally had it in her grasp. She frantically pressed the tiny ‘stop’ button on the phone at least five times before the blaring ceased. Silence at last.
In that dramatic introduction to Monday morning, she had yet to realize that last night’s prayer was obviously not answered since she was still breathing oxygen. It took a minute to remember where she was but when reality hit, so did the anguish. Why, God?
“I can’t survive another day, I just can’t,” she said mournfully.
She found it even more difficult to pry herself out of bed that morning after recalling last night’s dream. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she could almost feel the handsome stranger’s strong arms draped around her. His cologne seemed to linger in the air. She was saddened upon the realization that her dream would never come true. No one had shown her that type of attention in many years. A prayer for eternal peace had turned into a manifestation of an idyllic Loveland that only exists within her subconscious mind. What kind of curse was she under, she wondered?
Feeling weak and uninspired, she dragged herself around her bathroom trying to do her best impression of a functioning adult. After showering, Maia looked into the foggy mirror at her towel covered body. After wiping away the mist with her hand, she continued to stare into the mirror and became even more disheartened as she noticed the dark circles underneath her eyes. Stress and heartache had begun to steal her beauty. Her skin looked dull and the conspicuous sadness behind her almond shaped eyes was aging her. After taking in all her flaws, she was certain love would never cross her path again.
After pulling herself together as much as she could, she emerged into the world, gracefully carrying her despair around as she earned a very modest living. Fully clothed and with a face full of makeup, no one would be able notice the darkness she carries behind it all. At this point, life was nothing more than laboring to keep a roof over her head; there was absolutely no love and no joy. She looked in the mirror and saw her reflection, however, she was apparently invisible to the masses; except to the weird strangers she encountered around town who seemed to enjoy finding creative ways to make her day miserable.
Stop to Love 