It was Saturday night and my 21st birthday and my girls and I wanted to do it big. We planned a wild night out and ended up at this exclusive club that my well-connected friend was able to get us into. I had so much fun and since I could finally legally drink, I was super lit. We were all dancing with the crowd when I noticed this guy watching me from across the room. He was cute, and dressed real nice. Once he saw me looking at him, he took that as his cue to approach. He pulled me to the side and we somehow managed to have stimulating conversation amidst the raucous in that crazy packed nightclub. He was very articulate, which made me wonder what brought him here. He told me he was in town for the weekend and his cousin dragged him out to the club, even though it really wasn’t his scene. I felt him on that because I’m not the clubbing type either but my 21st birthday was a legit excuse to turn up. I kind of ditched my girls to hang with this guy, but they didn’t mind because they had all hooked up with guys themselves so we just promised to do dinner tomorrow.
After the club, I invited Derrick over to my place so we could have privacy since he was staying with his cousin for the weekend. Even though I was very attracted to him, with his 6’4” frame and muscular build, I’m not one for random hookups so we really just got to know a little about each other that night. We sat on the couch and chopped it up until dawn. He told me he attends college in California on a basketball scholarship. When he said that, I Googled him to check his stats and found out he’s a top recruit for the NBA – he left that part out of the conversation. When I brought it up, he said he was tired of being chased for his future bag, and I actually cackled. I understood, though. Derrick was more level-headed than I expected for a basketball star. He was super chill and our vibe was top notch. I was comfortable around him, like I’d known him forever.
We fell asleep on the sofa. I was awakened around 10 a.m. when my phone vibrated on the coffee table. I had fallen asleep laying on his chest, so when I reached for my phone, Derrick started to awaken. The way he looked at me and the way he wrapped his arms around me took out all my defenses. I was caught off guard by the way I felt in that moment, and when he kissed my lips, I was wide open. One thing led to another and next thing I know, we were in my bed. A little while later, he said he had to go because his plane was leaving that afternoon. I felt some kind of way that everything happened so quickly, but it’s not like I didn’t know he had to leave soon. His rideshare driver arrived shortly after, and he kissed my lips once again right before walking out of my life. I’d never had a one night stand so I really didn’t know what to expect, but it just felt like there could’ve been more with us. Maybe I’m just naïve. Either way, he was gone, and I later realized that I didn’t even get his phone number to keep in touch.
A couple of months later, I’m at work and my co-worker, Sheeva, brought in blueberry muffins for breakfast. As thoughtful as the notion was, one whiff of that warm muffin she sat on my desk sent me running to the restroom, gagging. Blueberry muffins are my favorite but today was a different story. Sheeva came in to check on me, and I apologized for rudely running away after she was thoughtful enough to bring breakfast. She said the last time she threw up from smelling muffins, she found out she was pregnant. Sheeva’s married to her high-school sweetheart and they have like fifty-eleven kids. But me? That was the last thought in my mind. I was like, “Girl, shut your mouth”, like there was no way I could be pregnant. I had dated here and there, but I was too busy to try to hold down a real relationship since I was balancing work and my night classes. The only real action I’ve had was with Derrick, months ago. Plus I just turned 21, I have a life to live. No way I’m pregnant.
That evening, I met up with my best friend, Tori, for dinner. We’re at the table, chit-chatting while sipping on the wine we ordered, waiting for our entrees to arrive. As soon as the server placed the food on the table, the aroma was nauseating. My appetite was completely done. Tori knows me better than anyone in the world, and she just looked at me in disbelief because I had never in my life lost my appetite. I am definitely a food connoisseur. Even when I’m sick, my appetite remains on 100. I told her about the muffins this morning and she sat back in her chair and looked at me intently for a few seconds.
“When was your last period, Monica?”, she asked.
With that one simple question, I panicked. I could not remember when my last cycle started! I checked my tracker app on my phone and I was definitely late.
Tori asked the waiter for to-go boxes and tugged me down to the pharmacy to pick up some pregnancy tests. Back at my apartment, some pink lines on a pee stick changed my life forever. Tori went with me to the doctor a few days later where it was confirmed that I was indeed on the way to becoming somebody’s mother.
So… about the father, who is a one night stand who lives on the other side of the country, whose contact information I failed to obtain. I didn’t even need to say anything because Tori had already looked him up on social media and was already in his DMs. I ready didn’t want to spring this on him – he would definitely think I was after his future bag.
“Monica, it doesn’t matter what he thinks, you need to tell him”, Tori said.
“Don’t you see he’s in a relationship?”, I said. He was posed up in many pictures with a woman who I assumed was his girlfriend and she looked like the typical basketball wife — definitely the type who would go after a future bag.
Tori messaged him anyway to see if we could have a conversation, but he never responded. He blocked both of us after that.
Not the vengeful type, I decided to take ownership of my bad decisions. Tori is the vengeful type and was basically on her way to California to find Derrick but I told her that I’d rather just deal with it myself at this point. I didn’t want to drag someone into my life who obviously had no interest – I’m not that girl. I did my best to remain optimistic throughout those months of pregnancy. Tori came to most of my prenatal appointments with me. My girlfriends threw me an amazing baby shower. Everyone was super supportive, but deep down, I was scared. And disappointed. This was not how I envisioned my life. My plan was to prosper in my career, marry at 30, and start a family after that. How would I be able to juggle being a single mom, finishing college, and thriving in my career field? I had to sit out a semester because I was not able to continue my night classes toward the end of my pregnancy. I felt like my life was over.
Jalen was born in the spring, and just seeing his little face changed my life forever. He made me stronger and more determined to succeed than ever before. Now I had a real reason to go hard so I resumed my college courses. One night as I was leaving class, I dropped my notebook while trying to find my cell phone in my purse. While reaching to pick it up, I saw someone’s hand grab it and when I looked up, there was this handsome guy handing it over to me. He was obviously a bit younger but very chivalrous.
“I think you dropped this Miss Lady”, he said, in the most sensuous tone. I thanked him and that was that. The look in his eyes insinuated that he wanted to draw out our encounter, but I was focused on getting home to my baby. He stood there and watched me as I walked away. I could feel his eyes on me.
A week or so later, the instructor assigned us to groups for a project. I did not anticipate putting in so much effort for an elective, but okay. Our names were called out so we could meet up with our groups, and as fate would have it, Mr. Chivalrous was one-third of my group. His actual name is Terry, apparently. We all agreed to meet at my place on the weekend to get ahead on the assignment.
Saturday afternoon rolls around, and I get a text from Jessica, one of my groupmates, stating that something came up and she couldn’t make it to our session. Of course, it’s Saturday and she’s like 19. There were far better things to do than work on a group project. A little while later, there’s a knock at my door, and it’s Terry. He came bearing gifts in the form of snacks. As he walked through the door, the smell of his cologne distracted me a bit but I was brought to by the sound of Jalen crying in his room. Terry looked a bit shocked to discover that I had a child but offered his assistance. I told him to make himself comfortable and to get started on the project while I checked on my baby.
I brought Jalen up front with me and sat him in his play pen by the sofa. Terry walked over to take a look.
“He definitely has your eyes. And your smile. What a lucky little guy.”, he said.
I thanked him and redirected the focus back on our classwork. I couldn’t afford any distractions in my life at this point.
We made a lot of progress on the project, and at one point, Jessica video-called to participate for a few hours. Terry and I were up late putting the finishing touches on the presentation. In the midst of our work, he slid in some personal conversation. He was curious about the whereabouts of Jalen’s father. I told him that Derrick’s not in the picture at all. Terry took a look at my face; I could tell he was trying to read me.
“I don’t know the details of the situation, but whoever he is, he’s seriously missing out on a good thing”, he said in the most sincerest tone.
“I would never walk away from you or my child,” he finished.
Desperately trying to keep my composure, I turned our focus back on the presentation. He took the hint and respected that boundary.
I had to put Jalen down so I went back in the nursery to rock him to sleep. Unfortunately, I rocked myself to sleep in the process. I didn’t awaken until close to midnight. I jumped up from the rocker when I remembered I was supposed to be working on the group project. I noticed that Jalen had been placed in his crib and was sleeping peacefully and there was a blanket that fell to the floor when I stood. Terry must’ve come in to check on me.
I walked back into the living room and he was gone. There was a note folded on the coffee table with my name on the front.
“I would love to hang out tomorrow afternoon if you’re free. Text me if you’re with it. Rest well. – Terry” it read.
I was actually dead tired and not really in the mood to hang out. I was upfront with Terry about it when I texted him the next morning. He said to let him take care of me today, and he promised it wouldn’t require me to “put on”. I sat on it for a while and then decided that it would be nice to see what he had up his sleeve. He said he’d be coming by around three.
Terry was right on time, coming through my door with bags of groceries.
“Bet you didn’t know I was a chef, huh? Girl, prepare for the best meal of your life”, he said with a bit too much confidence.
He even brought toys and diapers for Jalen. It was a lot to take in but I decided to let my guard down today. I was tired of being alone. And the man didn’t lie, he threw down on dinner. Dessert too. Cleaned the kitchen. Sat and watched all my reality shows on DVR with me and actually showed sincere interest. I could tell this wasn’t just an effort to get me in bed; he seemed to be really into this. Knowing how shaky my judgment could be, I tried not to think too much into it, though. I’d just enjoy the ride for now.
As the night began to wind down, I went to put Jalen to bed. When I came back in the front room, Terry was getting ready to go.
“I do have work in the morning but I want you to stay for a while, if that’s okay with you?”, I said.
He was just being a gentleman, trying not to overstay his welcome but once I gave the green light, he was very eager to honor my request. We talked for hours about everything. Turns out, he’s a science fiction nerd like me and I his taste in music was scarily identical to mine. We both pulled up our most listened to songs on the streaming service we both use and I was floored at how similar our lists were. Seems as if we are both hopeless romantics.
“I see you, Monica. You balance work full time, classes, and being a single mom – I admire you. You deserve someone who will help you carry this load. I know you don’t really know me like that, but I want to be there for you. Words mean nothing, but I will show you what I’m about if you trust me”, Terry said.
Tears just started streaming down my face. I don’t even really know why. Maybe he was telling me all the right things. I didn’t want to trust it, but deep down I felt his sincerity. I was so tired of trying to do all of this alone, but I had set my mind on being strong. There was no place for pity or weakness. Even though I desired a family, that notion was just a fairy tale as far as I was concerned. I had no time for imaginary things. I was responsible for this little life and that required strength and focus.
On that note, I told him he should probably go ahead and go. No need in conjuring up illusive happy endings. That’s not how things went in real life and I didn’t want to get wrapped up in a delusion.
We both stood from the couch at the same time, coming close to each other in the process. Terry grabbed me gently and kissed me with passion I had not known. I wanted to pull away, but my heart said otherwise. I couldn’t even be mad at him; I needed him.
“I got you. Believe in me. Let me show you”, he said, and it was a wrap. I surrendered.
Time showed him to be a man of his word. We both eventually graduated from the university and Terry launched an app he had been working on for years. It grew to be a major success and we prospered. He raised Jalen as his own son, and the way he is with him is amazing. Terry proposed on New Year’s Eve a couple of years after graduation, and we married in Egypt. We took a year off to travel the world for our honeymoon. He actually spoke it all into existence – this fairy tale. His love for me and my child turned into a happily ever after.
Stop to Love 